Monday, July 22, 2013

Whatta Weekend!

To start the weekend, my mom took Marla and Rob worked a night shift, so home alone I was, which I hate, but I decided to make the best of it. Crafting and food. Doesn't get too much better!
At the top of cuppycake toppers I made for my dad's wedding this weekend. I've got an order of almost 200 to do! I'll be sure to post the finished products. I think I'm going to make a bunting to go around the cup cake tiers out of these same little flags. If you aren't a fan of a lace and a distress pad, you probably won't enjoy my stuff :)
I made a stuffed crust bacon and asparagus pizza, which was awesome. No red sauce, just olive oil, garlic, and cheese.. Mmmm.
The bottom right is the little birdie I dolled up. He lives on our bathroom door now, so when you walk into the bathroom you are greeted with the words " You are just lovely!". 
Now, what folks like us call "romantic"...
This would be me and my handsome hubby. Those are big ole noise cancelers on his head. 
First we went to the junk yard in pursuit of a transmission for the truck Rob's building. On the right you can see him standing on top of a truck hood in a mess of poor torn up vehicles. It was my first time at a junk yard and besides an encounter with bees, we had a good time! We found this old '88 Ranger (third down on the right) and I decided I needed the tailgate. Now my hubby and I are going to make a bench out of her!
Last picture down is of the tractor pulls we went to. Are some of you confused right now ? 
A...tractor pull ?
This is a huge event here in the Orleans County. Lots of tractors and trucks get together to see who can pull the most weight the furthest. We double dated with a good friend of Rob's whose truck was actually pulling that day, which was neat because I've actually drove the truck myself.
 Please excuse my husband's hands... Ay yi yi.
On the way home I decided to do something I rarely ever do - IMPULSE BUY!
We stopped off at an antique shop where I spotted the cutest little wicker chair. Like, the kind of cute where you almost cry because you need it SO BAD!
So I did my first ever wheel and deal all by my little self. 
(My hubby usually does this for me).
The purchase ? The wicker chair, of course, an antique birdcage with it's own stand, and two adorable chippy white iron antique ice cream shoppe chairs. I'll show you the wicker chair, but I need to re-upholster the chairs and paint the bird cage and stand. 
Then I'll post before and afters.

She did not want to sit pretty for me, so this was the best we could get. Haha. 
She can be quite a stinker sometimes! I wish I could fit in that cute little chair!
We ran into this BBQ joint set up in a trailer on the side of the road and there was this little girl dancing in the road with a pig hat. She was adorable. So we had to stop - and the food ended up being really good! 
We got pulled pork sliders. Pulled pork is one of my favorites.
The next day we went to my dad's for food and some gun shooting.
Okay, I am so sorry that I sound like a complete red neck in this post! I'm really not this bad!! I swear!!!

I did shoot and believe it or not, I did hit the target. 
I know. I surprised myself! 
I like taking Marla over to my dad's because it's like reliving some of my best childhood memories - eating venison, shooting guns and the outdoors. Marlaina is obsessed with anything outdoors. She can't get enough of it. My dad's fiance gave her not one but two ice cream cups today while we were outside so she was truly in all her glory. 
My little best friend. She just cracks me up....
I hope everyone enjoyed their weekends as much as I did! Now for a busy week preparing lots of tent bunting and cupcakes for my dads wedding. I'm pretty excited to see some family I haven't seen in almost ten years!
Love & Prayer!!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Hot As The Dickens!!

Well, you know it's bad when your a meesly 22 years old and have to grunt and moan just to get to a standing position! Our central air decided we didn't need her anymore two days ago, so my hubby went out and got us some fans. We're doing our best trying to stay cool, but poor Rob is working a lot of night shifts so he sleeps from 7am-about 4pm. It doesn't seem to bother him as much as it does me when I watch him sleeping in bed in the middle of the day in this heat. (You have to have windows open to circulate air, so I can't even make it dark for him) My poor hubadub... But he takes it with a grin and that's one of the reason I love him.
Lord knows I'm laying in a puddle at midnight when it's even somewhat cooler!

Marla is obsessed with the cows in our backyard. For the longest time she was convinced they were "doggies" and she would bark at them! The "doggies" are now recognized as cows to her, and she enjoys mooooo-ing at them way more than she ever liked barking. Probably because they respond back with a "MOO", right ? Haha!

You should hear my husband make fun of me as I run around chasing my daughter to catch a decent picture of her. I guess I understand his laughing, because both of my moms do the same thing as I do and we all laugh at eachother, understanding the frustrations of trying to "capture of toddler". Ha! Most of the time, I have to sit far off and have my camera on ZOOM so she doesn't see me trying to take a shot of her!
Ergh! Just like her father!
The picture above is of her playing, while I sat on the couch like hidden poparazzi.
(That word is spelled so funny! Yes, I had to look it up.)
Today marks grocery day. I dread grocery day when my husband is working nights because I have to be back home by 4 to give him the car, and shopping takes me sooo long! I'm so indecisive. "I want to save the money... But is this item good in off-brand? I guess I'll try it. No I won't..."
Another eye brow scrunching factor is my husband only eats certain things. I can't tell you when the last time I ate a green pepper or a pickle was. But today, that is all changing! I found this recipe for chicken salad stuffed green peppers and I must make it!
(I'll just serve up some cake that night to make up for the "nasty" peppers. Heehee)
I traveled 45 minutes to my mother's house so I could plop Marla with her while I venture to the store. So Marla will be happy to get a dunk in the pool. I think so will her Gramma who is a puddle from delivering mail all day..

SOOO before I leave I must tell you...
I was letting my sweet princess swim around in a cool water bath last night while I cleaned nearby. I look up into the tub from the floor and there it was...
She had pooped in the tub and was mashing it with her feet trying to get away from it.
Never ever a dull moment. Really, I mean ever!

Be blessed, everyone! Love & prayer!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Date With Gramma Issa

As much as me and my ma bicker, I do love when she comes out for surprise visits. I know Marla does too, because it always mean new gifts or clothes. She is one spoiled little girl by her grammies! Marla was really excited when we found her cousin Abby in the backseat!
Abby just thinks she's nuts!
At Olive Garden, we got asked if they were twins! Abby is my Aunt's daughter, who is five years older than me. Our daughters are three months apart and they are a handful together, just like me and Abby's mommy used to be!
Our Pier 1 adventure...
 These masks were adorable! But more expensive than adorable. I'd much rather make my own! We had lots of fun with them, though! It would've been so much fun to have a masquerade wedding! I should use that theme for Marla's next birthday...
Below are my mom, sister, and me.

 Seeing Marla with her cousins really makes me want another. I guess God will make it happen when it's supposed to. In the meantime, cousin love is surely second best!
Enjoy the weather!

A Date With Grammie Pie

A few days ago, Marla and I went out on the town with her Grammie and cousin Torry. You may know Marla's Grammie as blog - Viv Out On A Whim. It wasn't until I met my mother in law that I really began discovering who I was. I really enjoy spending time with her, so off we went, babies in the backseat.
That sure would be my daughter sticking her tongue out at Little Torry!
They were so funny. One would start to laugh and it would bring the other to start laughing, and they couldn't stop! (Neither could me and my mom in law, Viv) We went to HomeGoods, Christmas Tree Shoppe, and Barnes and Noble. It was all we could fit in with the kiddos. We capped off the day with a little Panera's.
The way home pictures are probably my favorite. Nothing better than a konked out baby!
I'm not sure how they can fall asleep in those car seats, but they seemed pretty content. They have so much fun together. It makes me want to be their age so I could play with them sometimes, instead of being mommy!

My Little Helper & I

Rob and I just picked up from little Lyndonville and moved closer to the city for his new job, so I've been trying to balance cooking, cleaning, child rearing, and making this townhouse to "fit" me. I really do love this new place. It's a million times better than our previous homes. I figure my living room needed to be the first space I made "homey" because I spend 80% of my time there with my daughter, Marlaina. You can't see her play area, but she has made this room her kind of "homey" too, believe me.
 Even in the city, we managed to find ourselves a little taste of country living. I'm surprised everyday that I don't have nostrils filled with the smell of cow manure. Marla and I played "water buckets" outside until I started noticing a few too many bees near us, so we went in. My husband is deathly allergic, and I don't feel like testing the bee-sting-waters with our little girl yet.
My latest undertaking, distressing our coffee tables. In the first picture, you can see it was one of those glossy wooden tables from Walmart. One of our friends had given it to us for free. So glad he did! I used a set a pliers and a screwdriver to "beat it up". Marlaina must've thought I was nuts pounding our table with daddy's tools! She's got crafting in her blood though, helping me sand and pledge!

 This is the dresser my husband and I recently painted and aged.
I am in love with it!
I'm not able to post as often as I'd like because we don't have internet at our place right now, but I'll get in the swing soon I'm sure.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

"This Baby's Heart Has Stopped Beating"

December 28 of 2011 my husband and I were blessed with a beautiful healthy baby girl, Marlaina. She immediately became my entire world, my little mini me, my best friend. My husband fell in love the minute he saw her, but between you and me he was dying for a boy. When they told us she was a "she", his face turned a shade of pale I've never seen. Since then, she has brought nothing but joy to our lives.

Almost exactly a year later, we found out we were expecting another little miracle. We were overcome with excitement sitting on the toilet reading our positive result over and over. Little did I know, this pregnancy would be nothing like carrying my little girl.

Morning, afternoon, and night sickness kicked in early. My husband, Rob, was working eighty hour weeks at the time, so I spent many nights alone in my bathroom violently getting sick while Marla slept in her room. I couldn't even hold down my prenatals. At a 12 week check up appt, I had actually lost weight, but the baby seemed to be doing well, so no one was concerned. Shortly after I put on my little girl's first birthday party in February, (we had it late because of holidays), I began having dreams of giving birth to a tiny baby boy at 20 weeks, dead. I remember having a girl's night with my mom and sisters in law and telling them I just felt empty. I wasn't feeling movement anymore, I was depressed, and I just didn't "feel pregnant". Assuming it was just hormones, I shrugged it off and prepared excitedly for our 18 week appt to hear what we were expecting. I just knew it was a boy! Anticipation knotted our stomaches as the sonographer studied our precious baby's picture on the screen. "Tiffany, have you experienced any abnormal bleeding lately?".... No. This question didn't alarm me. They always ask that. "But I haven't been feeling movement. Is that normal? I was feeling him a few weeks ago.".... Silence.... She didn't answer. I thought she was just being rude because my husband and I were complaining of the long office wait. "Let m go get the doctor. I'm having trouble determining the sex for some reason. Maybe he can help."

Twenty long minutes went by. I didn't even think anything was wrong. I couldn't believe they were making us wait again... "Babe, what is up with this freakin' place today?"

Twenty-five minutes...The door opens to the most awkward doctor face I have ever seen.
"This baby's heart has stopped beating". No one even told us this baby was that boy we prayed for.

This must be a joke. This wouldn't happen to me. Not someone of my faith and love in God. Not someone who loves her babies so much. Not someone who would die in an instant for her children's happiness. We were led through the back of the office so no one could see our pain and devistation. We were given two options - Abort this baby or go into labor and birth him. Labor it was.

On April 1, 2013 I painfully delivered the tiniest little human I have ever seen. My daughter was a planned C section so I never had contractions or even felt my water break. I kept asking the doctor if it would hurt but no pain he described accurately fit the pain me and my husband endured that day. After our precious son came out, the nurse went to bathe him and the doctor proceeded the scrape my out my placenta that was still stuck to my uterine wall. God bless my husband, who was stronger than a soldier holding my hand so tight my wedding ring was digging into my other finger so bad I had to tell him to let go. I have never seen that much blood in my life, not even in the movies. I could not have done that without Rob that day. Carrying my dead son inside of me for three days before was the most empty and lonely feeling I will probably ever know. 

Nathaniel David Neroni (Meaning God's Beloved Gift) was weighed in at 6.4 ounces in his blanket. They determined he had passed away at 14 weeks, so he was absorbing fluid inside of me for a month, leaving him very grey looking and with hands and feet that looked more like fins instead of fingers and toes. He was beautiful. A teeny nose, itty bitty ear buds, and little eyes that I swear were full of more life then I have seen in anyone's eyes on this earth. My baby was with Jesus. We did what any parent would - we rocked him and cuddled him and prayed over him. We told him how much we would miss him and how strong he was. We told him how much we love and and that Jesus loves him even more. We told him we couldn't wait to meet him in Heaven.

Jesus is the only reason why I could smile that day, holding my lifeless son. I will never forget the peace that filled that hospital room. I will never forget the warmth of the presence of God that ran all over the walls and floor of that tiny room and into the hearts of every person there. During our last minutes in the hospital, my husband went to fill our cremation paperwork and I spent some time alone with Nathaniel. I didn't speak. I don't even think I breathed. Tears streaming silently down my face as I looked into my little boys eyes, I faintly heard the laughter of a little child. My boy. My boy was telling his mommy he really was okay. I will never forget that sound, and I will hear it again someday.

For now, Nathaniel's remains are tucked in a little cannister in our bedroom with a teddybear. We keep his blanket and hat in a little blue box the hospital gave us. More important than either of those, we keep our little boy tucked away in our hearts. His image is burned into a special place in my memory that will never go away. New York State says that babies aren't considered a "human life" until 24 weeks gestation. We left the hospital without a birth or death certificate, but that means nothing. Nathaniel taught me what life really is. I will continue to share his legacy and the profound impact he had on me and my husband. It may be taboo to share about these little lifeless bodies in today's society, but these babies deserve to be cherished and remembered daily. We shouldn'tpush them to the back of our minds to collect dust. God brought my teeny tiny son to this earth to teach me the most profound lesson I will ever learn - On this earth I have nothing, but in Christ Jesus I have everything, including my son.

I love you, Nathaniel.